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so my fast didnt last..figures. i am a failure at everything. i skipped my first 3 classes today. i had a milky way diet coke and combos from the gas station on the way to school. thats over 1000 cals. how did i manage to eat a WHOLE bag of combos..sickk.
so then i decided well thats all i will eat for the day. i lasted til about 10 pm. when i got home from work. first of all i got yelled at cuz i have been skipping school and my teacher emailed my mom. then i ate a couple mini chocolate chip cookies my mom made. a christmas tree debbie cake thing. and some fritos in salsa. wtf is wrong with me. if i just didnt give in just now to all that i wouldnt of done that bad for the day.. but ughhh of course i give in. i always do. i am a failure. i drove home from work in the rain. it was so bad and i couldnt see a thing. probably should have pulled over. oh well. i didnt care if i died. i was actually kinda hoping something would happen. ughh i hate feeling like this all the time. the only thing good in my life is my boyfriend. he makes me so happy. just when i think my life is getting good. it goes COMPLETELY downhill. i keep skipping school because i am so depressed and i just want to sit around my myself. so i am failing all my classes. i went from straight A's all my life to F's this semester. what has happened to me?? and my parents arent helping. we fight all the time. i wanna move out next semester when im 18. but i wonder who will actually give me a place. since i'm still in high school:-\
my new inspiration is to get thin for my boyfriend. he is small and i look huge next to him. we would look so much cuter together if i got thin again. i must stay strong!!!
so then i decided well thats all i will eat for the day. i lasted til about 10 pm. when i got home from work. first of all i got yelled at cuz i have been skipping school and my teacher emailed my mom. then i ate a couple mini chocolate chip cookies my mom made. a christmas tree debbie cake thing. and some fritos in salsa. wtf is wrong with me. if i just didnt give in just now to all that i wouldnt of done that bad for the day.. but ughhh of course i give in. i always do. i am a failure. i drove home from work in the rain. it was so bad and i couldnt see a thing. probably should have pulled over. oh well. i didnt care if i died. i was actually kinda hoping something would happen. ughh i hate feeling like this all the time. the only thing good in my life is my boyfriend. he makes me so happy. just when i think my life is getting good. it goes COMPLETELY downhill. i keep skipping school because i am so depressed and i just want to sit around my myself. so i am failing all my classes. i went from straight A's all my life to F's this semester. what has happened to me?? and my parents arent helping. we fight all the time. i wanna move out next semester when im 18. but i wonder who will actually give me a place. since i'm still in high school:-\
my new inspiration is to get thin for my boyfriend. he is small and i look huge next to him. we would look so much cuter together if i got thin again. i must stay strong!!!